chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
