UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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