I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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