I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
