I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We need to rekindle our bromance
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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