My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
