Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
