My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
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