I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
