I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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