I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
even my farts smell like vagina
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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