The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
