So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
