brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
