Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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