the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
