you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
