dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
is it fun? or sober?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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