My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
