i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
