Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
