why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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