Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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