Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
