If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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