I want to have your abortion
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
