I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
