if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
