She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
