GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
