I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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