If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
