Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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