The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
