I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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