yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
