Cold hands, warm shart.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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