Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
