My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
