Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
nutella sex= disaster
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
