He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
