Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
