Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
