Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
