I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
