dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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