I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
