Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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