brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
