Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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