You work out of a Hotel?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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