She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
