you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
