A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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