the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
