those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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